Sadly, I am one of these people who compares my life to my friends. I don’t know why because I know that we all lead very different lives; but in whatever area of my life that is lacking, I like to torture myself and notice that my friends are indeed, filling that void in their life.
1. I have a friend who is a former Beauty Queen, still competes and rates high in all the pageants she does. She is pretty and she has brains.
2. I have a friend who practically has legs up to her armpits, is a dedicated follower of fashion and music (she looks good and she has great taste) and everything she does is effortlessly cool.
3. I have two friends who have recently just got engaged. One to her childhood sweetheart, and the other to her male equivalent.
4. I have a recently single friend who has never really been single, so she is living her life to the fullest and is having a lot of fun.
5. I have a friend who has found her calling as a pole dancing instructor, and is just awesome at this new found skill she has.
6. I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend 6 years and is living with him whilst doing her masters.
7. I have numerous friends who have jobs in the media, doing what we have all trained to but actually made it happen. They maybe exhausted at the end of the day, but they work really hard and it is nice to see they have became successful.
You see, they are all pretty awesome, and I love surrounding myself with people like this. It gives me the drive, the motivation to actually get off my bum. But, I do get envious. Why? Because they are doing the things that I am not doing. I have a boyfriend; yes, but we are doing long distance. We have been together longer than both the newly engaged couples, and I did get envious when I heard their news. But it quickly turned to excitement and a kick in the boob. Why was I getting jealous? I don’t want to get engaged. I am nowhere near old enough or mature enough to do so. But these two friends were and now I cannot be any happier for them; not envious of them.
Why do I get jealous of my two pretty best friends? Because I was a right old ugly duckling back in school, and the insecurities still hit me. Maybe because, (apart from my boyfriend and my parents), I don’t get told that I am pretty or “fit” by my friends. But this is because I usually get told I am “funny” or “weird” (but in a good way). I can be envious of them because they are pretty, and that is healthy. You always compare what you have and what you don’t have. Sure she might have long legs, but I have a bum which I am pretty proud of. But these twos personailties rock so I cannot be jealous for too long.
Do I get jealous of my friends in the media industry? of course. But it gets my motors running. I update my blog, I send out cvs, I send pitches to magazines. I am working harder than I ever have before, but I cannot ever hate them because I know how hard they have worked to get to where they are.
Do I get jealous of my recently single friend because she is single and I am not? No way. I love being in a relationship. But I do get envious with the fact she is having such a great time at the moment meeting new people, trying out new things. But, I am mostly happy for her, because she needs this and she is having a ball.
Am I upset that my friend has a new calling and I don’t? I would love to have a new calling but I simply do not have the time right now. I want that something which I am amazing at. It use to be dancing, but now, well, I don’t have anything. But it doesn’t mean it is too late. I will work on this when I have the time.
Lastly, am I jealous of my friend who lives with her boyfriend? A little. But this is due to the fact after a year of leaving uni, me and my boyfriend are still only seeing each other at weekends. But am I angry? No. I am happy.
You see, sometimes it is good to be envious of other people, especially your friends, but only if it is in moderation. You don’t want to dispise your friends because they have something going on that you don’t. But sometimes it is the drive that you need to do something you do want.
You never know, my friends might be a little envious of me with the fact I am out of here in February to see the world. Probably not but maybe 🙂